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May 12 NEW CHAPTERA big hello to anyone reading this. I have moved on. I bet you couldn't tell, havent posted anything in here for YEARS. Anyway, you can now find me intermittently hanging out at: www.not-jesus.blogspot.com Hope to see yall there, at some stage or another. Zoe x May 31 On Death's DoorI'm here, in all my infectious glory, knocking on death's door.
My hot, achy, lifeless body is flopped on the couch. Snot is dripping drop my nose. Everytime I swallow, it feels like I'm sipping an emo cocktail of razor blades.
Eaden called me this morning. "Hello?" I rasped There is a commercial for TimeLife. Theyre selling Instrumental Magic. An instrumental CD.
Uh oh. Emily's boyfriend has just come over. Emily is my next door neighbour. Shes 15. Her parents just left their house, about 20 minutes ago. She's having an illicit affair, or something similar. I bet her parents don't know about him, because their car leaves just before he comes over. Every single time. He (the boyfriend) looks about 20. No wonder her parents don't know. I should really stop spying on Emily. It's none of my concern that shes going to be pregnant and barefoot in a matter of weeks. I went to Fremantle last night. In retrospect, probably not a good thing, considering my impending death. But I had fun, nevertheless. Christof and I arranged to meet on a bus, the 99 circleroute, and then enjoy the late afternoon and evening in our fine port city.
I've only got two more days of uni this semester, then I can rest my weary, congested body for a week. Technically, its 'Study Break'. After my week of leisure, I have 2 weeks of exams, then I have a month of pure leisure. Absolutely nothing to do for a whole month. No reading, no assignments, no tut papers for a whole month. I plan to sleep in, read several books and possibly find a job.
I told Christof that Natalie had sent me a message about him. He was intrigued. He was a little disappointed because, in reality, it wasn't about him at all.
Either the Maltesers will kill me, or this damn viral infection will.
May 22 Alana and Natalie want me in the pants.Its true.
They slept over last night and I could see their beady little eyes undressing me.
Lesbians. April 29 Guilt CentralI have an anthropology research essay due on Monday.
I remembered that I had to do it last Monday. I had a week to complete this beast. 'Easy!' I thought, considering I did the last one on the Sunday before it was due.
Monday, I thought about it. Tuesday, I went on a picnic with Christof, hung out with him in the afternoon, then we saw The Worlds Fastest Indian that night. Wednesday, I slept in and watched various quality daytime television programmes. Thursday, I borrowed various angry feminist books from the library (all the good ones had already been borrowed by the efficient people) and brought a necessary program for my laptop. Friday, I took my laptop to uni with the intention of starting the mofo, but instead played battleships and listened to sweet tunes in the common room, then hung out with Christof that night.
Come today, Saturday, I hadn't done any more.
This morning I googled, and found some sort of relevant articles online when Mum wandered into my room. 'Want to go shopping?'
I spent an arseload too much. I got 5 jumpers, 2 long sleeved shirts, 3 cds, a book and a pair of pointy red shoes.
It's now 5pm and I still haven't written any of this lameo essay.
'Is gender identity a human universal?' Of course it is. It's not necessary for me to write a whole essay about it, it seems common sense. There are always going to be universal traits that define masculinity and femininity in various cultures around the world. Damn anthropology. Oh well. I'll bust out this lame essay, based on facts and opinions from 1980's angry femme-nazi literature and whatever online stuff I can find.
Kisses from a girl who when the police come to get me, I'll be listening to dance music April 13 Happy Birthday to Me!Is it nerdy that I'm writing a blog on the night of my 18th birthday? Probably.
Oh well, its a Thursday night, and I've been drinking all afternoon, so shut up.
Yes, its true. Little Zoe is now officially an adult, and all the rest. I get to vote now, and go to decent concerts. So thats awesome.
Today has been random, but like, extrodinarily fun. It started, more or less, when I got to uni at 12. I had the most boring lecture about kinship in Anthrop, but thats ok.
At 12:45, i went to the humble Arts common room, like I always do. We bummed around there before going to Oak Lawn for the final of the assasins competition. It was anti-climatic and ended rather unspectacularly, but thats ok. THe guys decided to have a shaving cream fight with the cans left over from the competition.
Seeking refuge from the destruction, i wandered over to the University Drama Society (UDS) table where they were selling tickets for their Teenage Mutant Ninja Tertles production. (Yes, its spelt with an 'e', because of copywrite issues).
"Hey! I know you! How do I know you?" I was greeted.
"Oh. You were in the common room the other day. You told me to suck your balls." I replied.
"Thats right! I'm John. Whats your name?"
And so begins the randomness of my 18th birthday...
I hung out with the drama kids for about half an hour while the shaving cream tomfoolery was going on.
"Hey, can we make out? Are you single?" asks John, ever so politely.
I gracefully declined.
They somehow found out it was my birthday and thought it was awesome.
"Hey, since its your birthday, did you wanna make out?" John asks again.
"Hey, can we wrap you up in this?" He asks, upon finding two rolls of crepe paper.
"Yeah, sure"
"Awesome!"
"Can we tape a poster to your back as well?" John wanted me to be walking advertising for his play.
"Go for it"
"Its not sticking too well, can i like, wrap the tape around your boobies?"
"Hahaha..sure"
"Hello! I like this girl!"
After I was all propaganda-ed up, they decided that it was time to go to the tav. Since I was 18 now, I was obliged to accompany them. We drank beer and discussed the play, James's soon to be ex-girlfriend and innumerable other things.
Then John started singing Zak and Sara! I was like "OH MY GOD! BEN FOLDS!"
We then conversed intensly about the awesomeness of Ben Folds. I found out that hes like in WASO and is like going to the concert both nights. Hes also like doing the practice concert things for the Ben Folds show in August. He gave me a burnt copy of some Ben Folds EP's that come highly recommended. I'm listening to them now..ridiculously awesome!
Upon seeing my enthusiam, he offered to teach me to play some BF songs on the piano. Seeings as though I had already missed my afternoon lecture, I figured learning some music would be fine.
Walking to the music building, dear old Alana called me, and she got to talk to the man himself, John. I think she was horrified...
As it turns out, I'm pretty crap at the piano, but I learn most of the intro to Zak and Sara, and a bit of Kate.
John then made up a birthday song for me. I forget the exact lyrics, but i recorded this part on my phone:
Its pretty good, considering it was improv. I was very impressed.
Then there was a Ben Folds jam session/sing-a-long, which was similarly awesome. John made me sit next to me on the piano stool, and every time I got up, or got distracted, he would discretely yell in the middle of the song "WATCH THE FUCKING CHORDS!" or "SIT THE FUCK BACK DOWN!".
After our little music lesson all of us (there were 4 of us, in case youre interested) went back to the Tav where the rest of the drama kids were boozing away. I had some more beer and had a delightful time for the rest of the afternoon.
And that is how I spent the afternoon of my 18th birthday. Cool, hey?
April 04 I found it!After realising that I needed to find my USB cable (geek it up!) to transfer the photos from my camera to my computer, I totally worried about it for about an hour. Then I told Mum. Then she found it for me.
Here are some of the delicious photos that were on my camera. Mostly, theyre from Alana's BBQ which was like a month ago.
Shes hot. So is Anika. So is Natalie, even though shes ethnic.
I love them all.
I also love 'Lullaby' by Jack Johnson and Matt Costa. Check it out, if youre cool enough.
I need to sleep.
I'm going to be a zombie tomorrow. I have to wake up at about 3.30. I have to be at uni at about 4.30.
Much love from me, wearing my awful awful 80's wedding shoes (purchased from Shoe Show today for $30).
-Zoe
Delicious prosh photos will more then likely be posted soon.
April 02 Layout WeekendIts been fucking ages since I have been bothered to write anything here.
I plan to resolve that. Right now.
The thing which has consumed most of my time lately would have to be Prosh.
(Prosh is a UWA charity event. Beautiful people gather, be funny and write an amusing newspaper. They then dress up and sell it one day in the city to raise money for charity.)
Wednesday night, there was writers night. Like usual. I got home at about 10.30. Like usual.
Thursday night was the first night of the layout weekend, but it wasnt the proper layout weekend. I got to uni at 12 for a lecture. I didn't go home that night. Rather, I stayed at uni for the writing and the like, then at about 4:30 Friday morning Justin, Iain, Julian, this random and I caught a taxi to Justin and Iain where I stayed the night.
Friday, I slept in and at about 2 I realised that attending my tutorials and music seminar was not going to happen. At 6pm I finally was home. I showered, packed, ate briefly and then I was back at uni.
Friday night was hilarious. So many funny and beautiful people were gathered in the guild building at uni, being hilarious and writing the most awesome things. Christof and I were going to go on an adventure to hang banners. Georgia made us stick stickers on tins, instead. I drank too much Red Bull, then skulled a can. I was really, really tired.
Then it kicked in.
I was buzzing. Christof and I were like almost asleep on this random futon, then I was wide awake. I jumped up and made him go downstairs with me. Justin and George were writing this article when I bounced into the small meeting room.
"Fuck. What has she taken?" asked George
"Red Bull. It's just kicked in" explained Christof, as I was carefully climbing onto the table, covered in newspapers and was walking around trying to find a comfy place to sit without falling over.
Later the evening, Christof and I retired to a surprisingly empty room. There were no others free, but ours was bitching. He managed to fold down the futon, and all was wonderful. Or so we thought...
Half an hour after we went to sleep (my Red Bull wore off and I crashed very hard) at 4.50, I was awoken by a revving noise. I was really angry. The combination of tiredness and coming down off my Red Bull induced high made me one angry girl.
"What the fuck is that!?"
"I'm not sure, Zoe. Just go back to sleep"
"I can't. What the fuck is it?"
"I don't know"
"Whats the time?"
"Ten to five"
"What the fuck is making all this noise at ten to five on a Saturday morning at uni?"
"I dont know. Just lie back down, and it'll stop soon."
"Ok, ok. Fine... Argh! What the fuck is it!?"
"Will you calm down if I look out the window?"
"Yes."
"Oh fuck."
"What?"
"Check this shit out!"
"Oh fuck. What a cunt!"
There was a man, in the pouring rain, wearing a big black coat blowing around the leaves with a blower-vac in the Guild Village courtyard.
"Argh. I hate that cunt!"
"Me too, Zoe. Just go back to sleep"
"Nah man. I cant! I'm really angry!"
"Calm down, Zoe. Its ok. Its just a guy with a blower-vac"
"Shut up Christof. I can be angry if I want. That cunt woke me up."
"You're insane. Just calm down. It's ok."
The next morning, Christof teased me for getting so worked up about it. I was really angry though. In retrospect, it was no big deal, but man, I wasn't happy.
Saturday was similarly as awesome. Funny shit was written. Beautiful people were around. Red Bull was consumed. George, Jules, Tom, Justin and Simon wanted me to do rockets with them. Christof shaved his head. Animal porn was looked up on the Guild presidents computer.
Tom (the awesome musician) and I got buzzed on Red Bull and Vodka, then got angry because Iain and Christof took too long to get dinner. Christof and I managed to get the futon for a second night, but people kept coming into the room hoping it was empty. Eventually we put a "Christof and Zoe are sleeping. Leave now if you want to live" sign on the door. We quoted Napoleon Dynamite, and weren't woken up by a cunt with a blower-vac.
The layout weekend was so awesome, and I had the best time ever. I'm paying for it now though.
I haven't had nearly enough sleep.
I ate too much junk food.
I didn't drink enough water.
My insides ache.
I swore too much, and now I can't stop.
I broke a few times.
I had a lot of fun.
Prosh is awesome. March 14 The words on everyones lips.I had the worst day of my life on Sunday. I'm not exaggerating. It was seriously the worst day ever. I can't be bothered to go into all the gory details, but essentially
And so on, and so forth...
It was the most terrible day of my life.
Monday was ok though. I missed my first lecture, but I ran into George and Tom once I finally arrived.
Emily is leaving anthropology, so I no longer have her as my tut buddy. That sucks. I think I'll become friends with Christian, hes got a wicked accent.
My new best friend is Rob in my Aust studies tut. Hes from America and has the coolest accent. (I've got a thing for accents, but honestly, who doesn't?)
I met up with Iain yesterday arvo in the Reid cafe, and were going out for coffee tonight. I have a feeling that we'll end up back at his place playing nintendo with Justin and Jarrod. I'm not adverse to that though...
I'm doin stuff with George on Friday night, or so we've planned today. I have no idea what, but thats ok. A movie, probably.
I'm meeting up with the most loserish girl this side of the Swan tomorrow. Her name is Alana, if you didn't already know. Shes pretty strange, but hey, I better do the right thing and socialise her. (I'm learning about socialisation at the moment in Anthropology).
On my way to the library yesrterday I was stopped and accused of being Zoe. It was Andrew Watts, whom I met on my first day, but promptly forgot about. I've heard many stories about him though, like him ruining Iains date with Karen, and him becoming the Parmisan Cheese fairy on Re-Boot. Nice guy though.
It's ridiculously hot here. It's horrible. The aircons on full, but no love is being shown. Oh well, I'm leaving in about an hour anyway.
I'm off to slurp up some juice and watch some teev. Antiques Roadshow is on!
Stay cool, my feathered friends...and remember - Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice. March 06 this is way beyond my remote concernHey all you beautiful people!
I don't actually know if youre beautiful or not, but I figure that most of you would like to think that youre beautiful, so I'll just agree with you to massage your ego.
Its ridiculously hot.
Last time I posted I was excited about going to the Prosh writers night. It was a good night, but I was a little disappointed. It wasn't what I expected, and I saw an article that upset me a bit. But it was OK, Pitty took pity on me and made me feel better.
It feels lame talking about my uni mates, coz no one knows who they are, except for like two people. But thats ok.
The next night, so Thursday, was the Arts Union Sundowner. That was ridiculously good fun. It was so awesome. Theres varying accounts of the night, but from most angles and sources it was a great night.
I can't remember all of it, but I remember delicious little snippets..such as:
I caught up with Iain today. We talked about the sundowner. Apparantly I'm hilarious when I'm trashed, and that I'm giggly and affectionate, and that makes me cute.
But enough about the sundowner...
I love uni, its wonderful and fantastic and I'm having the best time ever.
I've only got one lecture tomorrow, so that kicks arse.
I've got nothing on Wednesday. I'm going to the beach in the afternoon, then kicking on to the writers night. It's gonna be better then the last one, I hope.
I've got a fuck load of reading to do, and a tute paper due on Monday. I've also got three lectures to catch up on and some archaeology woman to see.
Kisses from the floor of my computer room, Zoe
PS - I saw Alana today and she made me walk about 10km in 80 degree heat to meet Carlos and to see the rest of her family. I love her, but she sucks, big time. March 01 Transperth Loves You!I've got some time to kill before I make my next assault on the public transport system.
Tonight I'm off to the first Prosh writers night. It promises free beer and pizza, so I'm guessing its going to be pretty popular. I have no idea who's going to be there (apart from Iain, George and Georgia) or where exactly to go (just upstairs in the guild building). But those are all minor details.
For those of you who I dont know, or particularly care about, you mightn't know that I'm moving. I'm so excited about it. Instead of catching a bus at 5.24pm to get to UWA by 7, I'll be catching a bus at 6.55pm. That is incredibly awesome. I am very excited about that indeed.
Fuck its hot. I'm wearing jeans, and its not very pleasant. I would be wearing other clothes, but I can't be bothered to find them and all the rest.
Uni is awesome. I love it. The people are just so incredibly cool, and I love everything about it. I saw a buttload of people yesterday that I knew and felt very popular indeed.
I can't think of anything else to say right now, but like if you want to know something ask Alana. She'll most likely know. I've been talking to her endlessly. Sorry!
She had a little gathering on Sunday night. It was mighty fun. A little bit of MUI (Messaging Under the Influence - Visit Nat's space for more on that) on my part. But its all ok. It got sorted out. It was mighty fun indeed. Ill put up some photos when I can be bothered.
Jeeeez, its so hot!
Mum's home, maybe with icey poles.
Check ya later, Party People!
February 23 Quotes that made the dayI had a very enjoyable day. I hung out with some extremely cool people, who say some hilarious things. If you don't find these things hilarious, its either because you don't know them..or you just arent funny.
"I'm so sick of all these fucking freshers...no offense Zoe" - Iain (the Prosh director) back at his house this afternoon, complaining about his talks all day.
"This guy is criminally insane!" - George, talking about Tom Green in Freddy Got Fingered.
"So George, how did you and...your wife meet?" - Simon asking George how he and I met.
"What else would you expect, this is a Mount Hawthorn suburban backyard, after all" - Justin informing Simon that the flowers he was expecting were indeed most likely opium poppies.
"Look! Its Kanga Bangers!" - Justin being so excited about his Kangaroo sausages he was having for dinner.
"Seeya later, Gents! Oh. And you. You're not a gent. Unless you want to be. Theres operations you can get nowdays." - Simon saying goodbye to everyone, then realising that I was the only girl, and therefore not worthy of a 'Goodbye ladies and gents'.
"He just made a strange face, but then said, 'ok, if thats what you want me to do'"
"That's what your mum said!!" - Julian telling a story, and Justin adding the mum joke, like usual.
"I think I just had lofty expectations" - George, after smoking some honey cigarette and not being impressed.
"And the state opposition leaders son was passed out in my front garden at 8.30 in the morning with people staring as they walked past with their dogs" - Justin telling the story of his last party.
"The train station is a lot further away then I remembered" - George, as we were walking for 20 minutes from Justin and Iains house.
"Try this. It just tastes like weak black tea!" - George, after tasting Simons opium poppy tea drink. He was right, it did.
"Yeah. I'm needing my fat laksa" - Julian wanting his dinner.
"This is almost as hilarious as the time Alex was caught having sex on the third floor of the Reid Library!" - George thinking something was funny, I forget what.
"Turn right..at your mum!" - George and Justin remembering the same mum joke anecdote.
"The next train to Clarkson departs in 17 minutes" - Transperth Lady
"Oh." - Me
"Haha! Sucks to be you!" - Julian
"The next train to Perth departs in 27 minutes"
"Fucking karma" - Julian
"I just hope I get my laksa" - George
I just love all these new people I'm hanging out with! February 17 walk with me, susie leeAt work today, i witnessed something pretty interesting. There was this little boy, about 4 years old, i suppose. His mum was looking at some jewellery and this kid wsan't too impressed. He didn't want to be there. His mother must have told him that he was only a little boy, and couldn't do whatever it was he wanted to be doing.
"Im not a little boy! I'm a big boy!" he shouted.
"You aren't if you aren't acting like one. You can't be treated like a big boy if youre being immature" she replied.
I just thought that was interesting, ya know. It's like you're only what other people tell you what you are.
Whats also interesting is the new Jack Johnson CD I got today. Its like an eclectic collection of songs from a movie he was involved with. Its called "Sing-A-Longs and Lullabies for the film Curious George". Its awesome. He does a cover of 'We're going to be friends' thats in Napoleon Dynamite. Its a cool version, i like it.
I saw a dead ringer for Ben from Penang today. Kinda scary, really.
I went back to MSC yesterday, for a visit (or an appointment with Mr Kemp, if you ask the Office Nazi's). It was mostly awesome to see everyone again. Everyone being Alana, Iden, Em, Shaunalee and various teachers. I made some mates who are in Year 11 this year, Peter and Joel. Random and interesting dudes, cool nevertheless i suppose.
Theres a lot of people I'm digging at the moment, and buttloads that I'm not. All I'm gonna say is that Alana is a legend, and she can have my babies any day of the week.
Love yall,
zoe
February 13 bootcamp, part 1 (probably)hello strangers, its been a while..
i just got back from bootcamp. pre-bootcamp, my msn space was away having lots of homosexual sex with other spaces and didnt want to work properly.
but alas, everything i planned to write there has slipped my memory, and is therefore irrelevant now.
bootcamp was frikken awesome (and im sure michael and pete can agree with me..so can timmy haha)
i met some delightful people, and had the best time.
i was so disgustingly dirty by the end of it, i was ashamed, but i was content and so very very tired.
i cant recall too much just yet about the finer details, nor can i be bothered to report them to you..so that works out quite well.
ill write more about it later, should i feel the need.
since ive been back though, well since this morning really, ive gotten lots of bootcamp love from the leaders...a message from Christof the main organiser (inviting us all out for drinks and food), and several from George (my group leader, and generally nice guy, who among other things, cordially invited me to justin and jules 21st party, which is in the next few weeks)
lots of tired, nostalgic, greasy-haired, sore muscled love,
zo January 16 The Hungarian Heart ThrobI really love the fact that my German uncle is German. Not only does it make it easier to distingush him from my other uncles, but his German-ness has given me the opportunity to meet lots of interesting people.
Firstly I met Marty, the hot German punk. Remember him? The one with the Opium chocolates?? Good old Marty. He's back in Germany working in his nightclub thing, nowdays. He's offered me a job there as a dancer (yeah right) if I ever make my way there.
Next, I met Erik, the worlds coolest 9 year old. This child prodigy was the one who came from Sweeden (Sveeden), lived in France and has been to Eurovision. Last I heard, he broke his nose in an unfortunate under-10's soccer match in Wembley Downs.
My international uncle has introduced me to a new comrade, Garbol.
I dont know if that is how you spell his name (in fact, i very much doubt it is) but you pronounce it 'Garbol', so I think it'll be fine to write it that way. I don't even know if thats how you pronounce it, though. I did, and he responded..so I think it'll be ok.
Anyway.
Garbol. He's Hungarian, and pretty cool.
I heard vicious rumours about Garbol before I actually met the guy.
"Did you know that Lou and Ronald have a new person staying with them?" Dad mentioned on our way to their place.
"No. Another student?"
"I don't think so. I think he's a friend of Ronalds from his travelling days. Ronalds been telling him to come to Australia for years, and apparantly he just called up and told them that he was on his way."
"Oh. Cool."
When I got to their little mud-brick house in Scabs, I asked Ronald about his mate.
"Dad mentioned that you've got someone staying with you..."
"Yeah! Garbol!"
"Uhh, who?"
"Garbol, my Hungarian friend!"
"Oh. Is he here?"
"Yeah, hes in his room."
"Am I going to meet him?"
"You don't want to marry him."
"Uhh...What!?"
"Well, if youre worried about him being the love of your life, you shouldnt be. You wouldnt want to marry him."
"Oh. I hadn't been worried, but thanks."
All of a sudden, I hear a deafening roar from Garbols room. I look at my aunty, and she doesnt seem to notice. Then I hear an uncontrollable fit of laughter. She doesnt seem to notice that either.
Then I see him. Garbol, the Hungarian Heart Throb.
White Bonds singlet, with foreign writing on it. Army shorts. Jesus Sandals. Shoulder length scraggly blonde hair. Faux beard.
"Well G'day Mates!" he says with a big grin, and an attempted Aussie accent.
"Ahh. Hi." Dad and I say.
Garbol then comes over and sits at the table, in between both of us, and put his arms around us.
"Well thare.." He starts, in a pirate voice. "Who argh these, me hearty?"
"I'm John. Lou's brother."
"I'm Zoe. John's daughter."
"Yes. But who are you?" he asks again emphatically, dropping the pirate thing.
He looked like a bogan, and sounded like a philosopher.
The more I spoke to Garbol, the more fascinated I was.
He was tri-lingual..meaning he spoke Hungarian, German and English. Often a combination of the three, in the one sentence.
He had travelled pretty much everywhere, and had albums of polaroid photos to prove it. And a collection of fridge magnets from where ever he went, and where they sold magnets.
He also had a handmade bicycle with him. It was fantastically cool. It was made from random bits and pieces he had picked up around the place. It has manniquin hands as the handlebars. He saw it on Six Degrees, and decided to copy it. He stole the hands from a shop in Norway, so he told me.
Garbol was hilariously awesome, and psychotic, and so full on all at once. He spoke in different languages, accents, characters and was truly an entertainer. He, at one stage, jumped up on the kitchen bench to make a point.
Garbol leaves soon, Friday, I think. He's off to Berlin for some celebrationy festivally thing.
Either that, or a convention for those who like to pretend that theyre a pirate. January 13 Weeeeeeee!I am by far the coolest person I know right now.
"Holy Crap! Look how up herself she is!" all you bitter uncool people cry.
TOO BAD!
I JUST BROUGHT MY TICKETS TO BEN FOLDS!!!!
Hes playing here in August, for two magical shows only!!
If youre a keen janine to go, you better get your tickets quick smart, coz theyre gonna sell out within a few weeks.
Go to BOCS for some Ben Folds love.
I sooooo cannot wait!!!
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee...im high on some sweet Ben Folds lovin!! A remarkable recoveryOuch. Kick a girl when shes down, Dr Tom. Thanks.
Yes, my feathered friends, I've been not feeling so crash hot of late. Alas, thats all in the past. I'm in tip top shape. All ready for my all frikken day shift at Girl Xpress tomorrow. Come see me if you want to buy some ugly clothes, or listen to Donavon Frankenreiter with me. I think I have to change the manequin things as well, so come along if you want to see some plastic people porn.
I cater for everyone.
I went to IKEA today!
I love IKEA. Its too cool to be spelt 'Ikea', it needs all the capitals, I feel.
Anyway, I really truly love IKEA, its one of those shops that obsessive part of my personality tends to shine. "Oh wow! Look at those!! I don't know what they are, but they would look hell good in the lounge room!"
I really really love IKEA. Its not the dodgy hotdogs that they sell that I love. I mean, I love them, but thats not the main reason. Its not even the kids creche thing, or the shitty car park. Its the fact that everything is written in Sweedish or Norwegian or whatever it is! I love trying to pronounce the 'nördudenfluken' part of the wall unit they sell, etc etc.
Braving the angry Friday traffic, I trekked it to Ozzy Park, it was hell busy, which I wasnt too happy about.
I ended up with some random tidbits for my room. So that was nice.
While I was trying to find two of the same woven basket things I almost got decapitated by an indecicive lady with a curtain rod. She had it propped up on one shoulder and kept turning from side to side as she decided which queue to line up in. A random guy, seeing the look of pure fear on my face laughed at me, until the woman turned to see what he was laughing at and almost smacked him in the head as well. Serves him right, almost.
I'm reading Trainspotting at the moment. God the way its written shits me. I have to imagine that its being read by this Scottish guy I know, otherwise its uncomprehendible in parts. Next time youre in a bookshop, find it and have a quick read. It'll mess up your head.
I cant think of anything else to blabber on about, so yeah.
Stay happy, all you beautiful people!
January 06 K-Mart CD ReviewsOccasionally, I work in Girl XPRESS, the very optimistic love child of K-Mart and Socialism.
Having solved a lot of arguments between couples, Yes - Girl Xpress is part of K-Mart.
There are many bad things working there. For instance, the longer shifts, the constant lack of customers, the creepy cleaning guy and the dodgy air conditioner.
But there are also many awesome things, like getting to call people and not get caught, perving on the constant stream of people (employees included) walking into Kmart, and the fact that you can eat in the store and no one will ever know.
While these are all obviously awesome things, there is one little extra thing which is both awesome and painful.
The big plasma screen TV and dvd player.
'How can they possibly be painful at all!?' scream the poor disadvantaged souls at the various other places of employment.
'Well, you little fuckers, you have to play what is offered.'
Whats offered?
Mostly shitty top 10 (my arse) cd's, and G and PG rated music dvds.
In other words, The Veronica's and Delta Goodrem.
I was in the humble store on Thursday night. A sad, lonely and very unbusy Thursday night. I was conscripted from 5 until 9. Yes, it's only 4 hours, but 4 hours basically by yourself pretending to be busy is very tiring.
Giddy with boredom and orange tic-tacs, I listened to almost every CD Girl Xpress had to offer, plus the two dvds at my disposal. Then - I wrote reviews.
Whatever is in italics is what I scribbled down on a page torn from the communications book. The book, missing the page I tore out, has consequently fallen apart. I'm sorry. I tried to stickey tape it back the best I could today. We were almost out of pages anyway.
I started the night with The Veronicas album, The Secret Life of.... It was on when I started, so I take no responsibilty whatsoever for listening to it. It played for about two more tracks before I had a chance to swap discs, because there were a few customers (for once).
"Wouldn't even bother to play this shit to a coma patient"
Next up, and my first choice, was James Blunt - Back to Bedlam. Jumping on the Blunt bandwagon, like so many of my comrades, I figured its gotta be better then the other shit to choose from. I brought the album in Penang, but haven't really listened to it yet, somehow I don't think I'll bother.
"Highly listenable to - for about three tracks. His nasal vocals drill an unrelenting hole in the back of your head. After the album, you'll be like me, contemplating suicide."
Feeling depressed and a little sick from the tic tacks, I switched albums, to Pete Murray - See the Sun. I really liked Pete Murray a while back, and Feeler will always remain a fave song. I got sick of So Beautiful, mass media exposure will do that to ya. This album was new, and promised to be exciting...
"Not terrible. Listenable to - just. By song 10, you'll want to slice off your ears"
Two and a half albums down, I still had about 3 hours left to entertain myself, and the occasional customer. Desperate times called for desperate measures. Desperation ended up materialising in the form of Robbie Williams - Intensive Care. Like most acts of desperation, this failed dismally. "
"A long way off his Rock DJ days. Very disappointing. Except track 7, Your Gay Friend. Play this baby on repeat, folks."
Getting down the the dregs of the Girl Xpress CD collection (and by collection, I mean the ones on the shelf for sale) I scanned what was left. I scratched my head, and sighed. My eyes landed on Madonna - Confessions on a Dancefloor. I actually shuddered as I saw her, on a dancefloor, in spandex.
"Didn't even bother to play this shit."
Getting more desperate by the minute, I looked through the 8 CD's I had to choose from again. Reluctantly, I picked up Greenday - Bullet in a Bible. Then I put it back. Looking at the other choices, I picked it up again. I played a few songs, skipped most of it though.
"Try hard rocker fuckheads. Should go and drink some bleach."
Feeling very let down by the lack of rock, I decided upon Grinspoon's Best in Show. Since not all the songs were particularly G rated, I decided to skip whatever was gonna be dodgey. Then I realised since there were no customers in a 6 kilometre radius, there was no real point. It was enjoyable - for about 5 minutes.
"Best in show. Big call. Too big."
There was one more CD left, before all the love was gone. This wasn't an exciting time though. No way. The last lot of love was in the form of Rogue Traders - Here Come the Drums. I just looked at it. I stood, staring, for about a minute. I just couldn't bring myself to touch it. Eventually, I picked it up and was about to take off the security case when this chick came in.
"Oh! You sell CD's!"
"Uhh, yeah."
"OH! You have Rogue Traders!"
"Yeah."
"I'll buy that then, thanks."
"I think it was God's way of telling me that I shouldnt listen to it. Anyway, Natalie is a skanky hoe and should hang out with the Greenday boys and drink some of their bleach".
With a total lack of options, I put on the Kylie - Showgirl DVD for the hundredth time. Good old faithful Kylie. Even Kylie gets boring and lame after a while. She peaks for two songs, Locomotion and I Should be so Lucky. Everything else is mediocre, at best.
"Not only makes my ears bleed, my eyes are crying tears of blood. Too much Kylie is bad for anyones health, even a gay guys."
After that torturous experience, I was four hours older, and had four hours of bad musical experience under my belt.
I was in Girl Xpress again today, and I had learnt from my experiences. I brought a few CD's with me.
Slowly, I'll convert the people of Ocean Keys to reject Kylie and embrace Jack Johnson or Ben Folds...just one bogan at a time.
(The photo is the scanned copy of my review, in its scribbly pissed off form) January 01 She has the features to be a weather girlA big Hi-Diddley Ho to my assorted lovers and blog whores.
As I sit here, munching on my 49c Santa chocolates (delicious, might I add), I thought, "Gee, it's been a while since I wrote a blog". Then I thought, "Oh God, how nerdy and lame did that just sound...?"
But geeky and lame generally defines me, so yeah, sit back and enjoy the ride. (Oh God, there I go again).
Some random has decided to steal a Zoe anecdote, thats pretty cool. I wish that they left a way for me to contact them though..hint hint. Uncle Russell and I would like to check out whats happenin with our little 'incident'. I do give permission, by the way.
Due to my compulsive spending, I've accumulated a fair bit of stuff over the past few weeks. Several books, cd's, dvd's and clothes have just ended up in my possession. The Ben Folds dvd of his concert in Perth I got a while back in Joondalup when I was Tim was definatley a good puchase. "How bout yo momma?" (If anyone wants to borrow the dvd so they can understand that joke, just let me know)
I went to see my grandma today. It was the same weekly habitual visit, with me going along mainly because I'm too nice to say no, and I had no other plans. Upon my arrival (and the mandatory, habitual kiss-on-the-cheek greeting that goes with the weekly visits) Grandma asked about my exams and commented that she didn't see my name in the paper.
"But mind you, I do need my glasses checked" she added, hoping that she missed seeing my name. She didnt really mind that her glasses were in fact fine, and that I was infact not in the paper, but my TER was still pretty good, the happier side of 85.
Naturally, we ended up talking about uni courses and stuff. (Note: I feel inclined to point out that I have a pretty cool Grandma, despite her age, Apple Tea-Cake and her very bad driving, that she knows a thing or two about the universtiy process. She did a bachelor of arts, majoring in english lit only about a decade ago. Shes got a killer book collection, my grandma does)
Halfway through a discussion about Australia's political climate,
Grandma says, "Zoe, are you sure you want to be studying archaeology?"
Dad adds, "Personally, I think she should be studying business, much more useful."
Aunty Lou (the hippy) pipes up "Music is in her blood, I don't see why she should continue studying at all"
Grandma continues, "No, I mean, look at her, she has the features to be a weather girl."
Oh God.
Grandma said it with the straightest face. Pure honesty. Old Mim was being so genuine. She genuinely thought her second oldest granddaughter had the necessary credentials to be a weather girl.
Sorry Mim, you got the wrong grand-kid. I think she might of got me mixed up with my cousin, Sarah. Shes the one at WAPA, studying musical arts. Shes the creative one. Shes the weather girl.
As a selected few of my associates may know, I purchased a pie maker for my mother for christmas. I even had to trek to Joondalup to purchase it, so there was a hell of a lot of effort that went into this gift. It was sooo worth it though.
I no longer look at food for it as being just for eating. I choose my meals based on it's leftovers being tasy in a pie. I seriously do! Mum asked the other night whether I wanted Spaghetti or stir fry for dinner. Normally, I'd pick stirfry every time, its a hands down winner. In fact, I hate spaghetti. BUT, considering the taste potential once it was reheated in a case of puff pastry, I had to choose the old Spag.
A good choice, I might add.
But generally anything tastes good in a pie...
I love Ben Folds Five - Naked Baby Photo's sure is one kick arse album. I love it. On a scale of one to awesome, its like uber awesome. Its cooler then spaghetti pies.
Other news, thanks to good old Nat, who hosted an enjoyable little gathering at her ghetto a few days ago. And that photo of a blurred face and hands is me, Jimmy was being a drunken little arse, thinking he was a shit hot photographer and close-up shots were cool.
In summary,
Seeya Beautiful People December 24 The past few days...I have to whore myself soon.
In an hour, I'll be pretending to be busy and chatting up hot customers, if there is such a thing.
The past few days have been sucky and weird. Inevitable, neverthess.
I'm going to Mandurah tonight, for a few days. That means no contact with anyone, apart from the family and assorted friends from the past, whom I only see in Mandurah at Christmas (thats you, Justin!).
Not Justin Burford, losers. He's a real person, that I know.
Theres this really weird guy who I better apologise to, but he already knows that. Coz he's psychic. Psychic and psycho, sometimes. But I've already said that..
I feel pretty bad. I suck at communication. People try to contact me, and I appreciate that, but I can't be bothered to return the favour.
So, while I'm feeling bad - heres a selection of sms responses that I would have sent, could I have been bothered. Choose which ones apply to you, should I have ignored you.
I think thats about all.
Oh! I got 2 new books yesterday - 31 Songs by Nick Hornby (Tim, you'll love it!) and Do Not Pass Go by Tim Moore. Both awesome. I also finally go around to watching my Ben Folds and WASO concert dvd. AWESOME. Woulda had the best vibe, me thinks. And I also got a Ben Folds Five album, a real golden oldie. Naked Baby Photo's. Its soooo cool. All songs that were cut from other albums, or recorded live. It's truly awesome.
Well, I better finished getting ready for work/Mandurah.
Buttloads of Christmas love, Zoe December 14 Count the ways I love theeOh God.
Theres a black chick, and shes coming to my house.
I better hide all the valuables and count all my dvds before she comes, just in case.
Apart from the theivery, I suppose it'll be ok for me to have a person of ethnic origin stay at my place. It'd make me appreciate my way of life more... Like, it'd make me appreciate they way that white people dont rape each other and stuff.
And, black people can dance really well. Everyone knows that. So I might just chuck on some Michael Jackson and make the black chick dance for me. If i gave her a dollar, she'd do it. I know she would.
Wanna know why?
Der, coz shes black. She'd do anything for money, coz it can go towards getting her her next hit.
And black people can cook really well. Ainsley Harriot is black, and man, that guy can cook. He even has his own tv show.
Natalie is pretty accepting of her colour. She's, like, come to terms with being black, so that makes it all a bit easier.
zoe says: oh, but i shall warn you. this is no ordinary fat night. oh no, no free ride at the young household. you wont be welcomed in unless you bring a plate of food to share, class party styles.zoe says: and it cant be nachoes, or brownies, coz ive beggsed themMourning the loss of inebriated nights, randoms, and quotes such as 'effin leavers, run amok' says: O H! *spits on the floor in disgust* well. i see the racism from cronulla has spread to little old lambasa way... now, the nigger has to bring her OWN cornbread to the party... however insulting, and stereotypical, i may bring some cornbread... or else something nearly as humerous, somehow taking the piss of my cultural ties, but at the same time, bring joy and laughter to all anglo-saxon aussies.zoe says: yay!!zoe says: well, im making chocolate brownies...so if thats not embracing your colour, nothing isMourning the loss of inebriated nights, randoms, and quotes such as 'effin leavers, run amok' says: hahahahaMourning the loss of inebriated nights, randoms, and quotes such as 'effin leavers, run amok' says: oh i love it
So, I suppose having Natalie stay over isn't going to be that bad...just as long as I lock away the valuables...
In reply to the princess -
Uhh, Nat is one of my mates and as you can see by her comment she understands that its all in good fun, and that I love her. Nat jokes about being black and entertains us with her black stereotypes.
I'm sorry for not making it obvious enough for people like you to understand that I was joking.
My bad. December 12 Boys stink, and other exciting newsYeah. Boys are pretty lame when you think about it. But I spose girls can be too, really.
Anyway, my head is full of stuff at the moment, coz of this really strange guy who I know. (No disrespect, man, but you are pretty strange)
But whatever.
I've been back for a while, and I still haven't written about my adventure, so I suppose I better, before I forget about it.
I had an absolutely awesome time in Penang. I saw so many cool things, and met so many awesome people. I'm so going back to Penang, at the end of next year, hopefully. I'm a keen janine.
I was a bit worried that I wouldn't have a good time, coz of some stuff that happened before I left (sorry about the guilt trip, but its true) but as it turns out, my concerns were in vain, coz I forgot all about it when I arrived at our hotel at 2 in the morning.
Hold on, I'm gonna go and get my journal, coz I don't wanna miss out something particularly interesting or exciting that happened.
Ok, DAY ONE
Umm, at the airport in Perth, I saw this hot guy, who to this day, I swear is a rock star. He was very attractive, in the Rock Star sense (day old facial hair, curly unkempt locks, two guitars in his luggage). Needless to say, I was checking him out the whole time at the airport, as you do. He gave me a very deep meaningful look (which I interpreted as 'Yes, Zoe, I'm a rock star and I love you', whereas in reality it was more like 'Stop staring at me, you psycho'). It was love, well lust, from one party, at least.
What else? At the airport in KL (Kuala Lampur) I saw my first ever Burger King. I thought that was pretty cool. I also saw my rock star boyfriend again.
On the little train thing that joins the Domestic and International airports in KL, I was chatted up by this Asian guy. I had trouble understanding his English. He asked about me, and where I was from...
"So. From where are you?"
"Ahh. I'm from Australia."
"Sid-den-nee?"
"Nah, Perth."
"Oh. I am from Kwinana"
Oh so Asian...
The first Malaysian I met, wasn't even from Malaysia. They were from frikken Kwinana!
That was DAY ONE. I can't be bothered writing about every single day, coz not only would that be boring for me, It'd be boring for you as well.
I have a little story written in my journal about May Lin, the Malaysian Beautician. I also drew a little picture of her. She was pretty cool, really. Except (and its a massive except) she wore a face mask.
Anyway, heres my story.
::Be aware, I was reading a John Birmingham book at the time, hence my writing style::
Toxic fumes fill the air. May Lin, the Malaysian Beautician and her broken English are here. She looks like a nightclub junkie, but I don't want to judge her. She is nice enough. And shes good at her job. My nails are great! Kate is having a pedicure. When the space princess isn't watching, Kate mouths me her pain shes feeling. But its ok, May is cheap. RM70 for a manicure.
The Malaysian beautician is cool. Far too cool to be ridiculed or disrespected.
We ended up seeing May a few times, coz Kate alway had money to burn on having pretty nails.
SATURDAY THE 26th
This was the day when we met James, the cabbie. Considering James's Chinese heritage, I doubted whether James was his real name, or merely a way of Westener's being able to address him with ease. Either way, James was a cool guy.
He knew basically everything about Penang, or pretended to and we couldnt fight him on it. He took us to this little roadside shack for lunch. It smelt, looked and just felt like dodgeyness, but James assured us it was ok there.
Judging by all the Asians around, and their stares of bewilderment, I doubted many Westies ever went there. James ordered a buttload of food that he thought we'd like, and most of it was good. I just got a bit cocky and dunked a big bit of rice flour pancake in this nondescript red sauce. BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER.
The nondescript red sauce started with a nice tomatoey flavour, and ended up as something spicier then Emma Bunton's armpit. I gulped down several mouthfuls of my Malaysian cola, but alas, it was in vain. I eventually got over the taste.
TUESDAY THE 29th - aka, KIWI DAY!
Tuesday was pretty cool, coz it was the first day that I had contact with someone white that was my age, and who I wasn't related to. It came in the form of three Kiwi guys, affectionatly known as 'The Kiwi Spunks'. Justin (My Bitch) was my age, Matt was a year younger and Mitch was 10. Three brothers. I heard their life story while I was trying to sunbake one lazy Malaysian afternoon. Nice guys, nevertheless.
Later that afternoon, Shamil the pool guy (more on him later) conscripted us all to play a game of water polo. It got a bit ugly, when this other Aussie guy, Harley, a year older then me, ended up with a blood nose, which was all gross, coz the mixture of snot and blood dripped into the pool.
After that eventful afternoon, I only saw the spunks a few more times. Most of these times were at night when I was coming back from the night markets, with armloads of black plastic bags full of stuff I'd brought. They teased me about that quite profusely.
SHAMIL THE POOL GUY
Shamil is a legend. He's the pool attendant/life guard at the hotel. We got along heaps well, and we pulled the piss out of each other. In retrospect, he probably wasnt a good choice by the hotel, to make him the lifeguard, coz he didn't like many people. If anyone pissed him off, he told me he had no issues in letting them drown. And I have no issues in believing that.
I also got him into trouble a few times. My particular favourite time was when I was just reading on the deck chairs on this grassy bit near the pool, but looking out onto the beach under the palm trees. He must have been bored, saw me and decided to come and have a chat. He asked me where my mummy and daddy were, and what I was reading, and about studying. He told me to go parasailing (and gave me crap about being scared for the next few days) then he wanted me to go and play water polo. "You're a pretty girl. All the boys will come and play if you're there, then it'll be a good game!" he reasoned.
Anyway, while we were chatting, the Banglidesh guy came over and told him to stop annoying me, and to leave me alone.
"You should be working, not talking to her" he says.
"I ain't talking to her!" he cries, "Nah, man, I'm talkin to the tree! See them birds there? That's who I'm talkin to, not her!"
I liked Shamil. He got into the habit of seeing me and yelling out 'Princess Zoe!'. I'd be walking down the street, or to the massage hut, or to the restaurant when I'd hear this ambiguous 'Princess Zoe!' and I instantly knew who it was. I didn't mind though, I thought it was pretty cool.
BEN THE PUB OWNER
Ben was the coolest male Asian I have ever seen. He is about 50, I'm guessing, with (wait for it) A MULLET! He was beyond cool.
He owns a pub called The Boat House, which, like Ben, was beyond cool. You were encouraged to write on the walls in the toilet cubical, which I was impressed with.
He also had this way of laughing, which accused you of being funny. It was a very forceful laugh, almost mocking, I suppose.
Ben was pretty damn cool. I liked Ben as well.
SWEET FREEDOM
Sweet Freedom was the Asian cover band that sang every night (except Mondays) at the hotel in the lounge. They were truly awesome.
They sang all the classics, 'Dancing Queen', 'Man, I feel like a Woman' and 'The Rivers of Babylon', plus requests.
They also provided hilarious quotes, hilarious mainly because of their Asian voices.
"Evryting means nutting if I ain't got you" [a bit from the Alicia Keys song, 'everything means nothing if I ain't got you']
"Tankyousomushhhh" [Thank you so much, which one of the singers said the second after she finished singing, before the three people watching her had the chance to even clap]
"It's cha cha time!"
I thoughouly enjoyed every evening that I saw a little bit of Sweet Freedom magic.
More excitingly though, the piano-playing guy looked like a more Asian and taller version of Jay in Year 11. Mind you, he also looked like an Asian Trevor Marmalade (according to dad), an Asian John Foreman (my other interpretaton) and an Asian version of some UK TV presenter (according to Elliot).
MY RELIGIOUS ENLIGHTENMENT
Going to a country full of so many different cultures and religions, it seems only natural that I'd have a bit of a religious anecdote. As it turns out, I have a pretty cool one.
It is something that I will definatly remember for the rest of my life.
It all started when Dad, Sue, Kate, James, Mel (his 19 year old god-sister) and I went to this little restaurant for dinner. It was the first time either Kate or I had met Mel, but as it turns out, she was really nice.
Anyway, she was asking us about our holiday and stuff, then all of a sudden she turns to James and starts saying something in Chinese. Her and James had a rushed and strange conversation. From the outside, I gathered that Mel had some great idea and was trying to convince James that it was, in fact, great.
"Are you guys doing anything tonight?" she suddenly asks.
"Umm, just shopping at the night markets" we replied, a little confused.
A minute or two more of Chinese conversations. James seemed to be warming up to the idea.
"Did you want to see something...different?" she asks.
"I suppose so," we replied, still confused.
"Well, since this is pretty much your last full night," she continues, "this is your last chance to see it, maybe even forever"
We were completely and utterly befuddled.
Sensing this, James says "It's a possession. But you can only see it between 8pm and 10pm."
"Ohhh," we all said, indicating we understood what was happening, when I doubt any of us actually did.
After dinner, the six of us squeeze into James cab and head for his mini-bus, at some other hotel. It was about 9pm, so we were running against the clock.
In my head, I understood this 'possession' we were seeing, as this rich guy that owns something special that he only lets people see between 8 and 10.
As we drive further, once we were in the mini-bus, I asked Mel where we were going. She told me that we were going to a temple, to see this spiritual healer.
Then it clicked...possession, like Emily Rose before her exorcism, not as in a material and tangible possession.
We were in a mini-bus, at quarter past nine, in Penang, Malaysia, heading to a temple to see a possessed guy heal those with cancer. Well, forgive me for feeling a bit apprehensive.
We arrived at the temple, and I was a bit overwhelmed. It was pitch black, and all I could hear were big gongs being banged, and I could smell insence (not incest). We walked through a carpark thing, behind a house, through a shed and came out in a whole new world.
I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I can guarantee that it wasn't a 40 year oldish guy, sucking a dummy, his hair tied up in ribbons, shirtless, jumping around and cracking a whip in some womans face.
In absolute bewilderment, I watched this possessed guy for about half an hour, completely absorbed. I was physically unable to take my eyes off him. It was hypnotic.
He jumped around, shook his head, threw stuff, made baby noises and wrote out 'prescriptions' in red waxy ink stuff onto yellow bits of ribbon to give to his 'patients'.
According to Mel, this guy was possessed by some Chinese God. The guy was merely the medium, the tool whereby God was able to help people on Earth. People came to see the healer, and through the devine power of the spirit inhabiting the guy, he was able to provide the right medication or advice or the answer the people with the problem had come for.
It was so surreal, but so amazing at the same time.
And that, was pretty much my holiday. I've missed out a fair bit about what else that happened, like some places we went, and some other cool Asians and others that I met. But if I wrote it all, I'd get bored and so would you. And I'm a generally nice person, so I wouldn't want you to have to read about every single thing that happened (should you feel compelled to do that, if I had written it all).
ANYWAY, I'll put a little sample of photos here of some of the cooler things, and the rest will be lurking in an album somewhere.
Much Love,
Princess Zoe. December 09 I LOVE JUSTIN!I'm back from Penang and I'm alive. No apparant symptoms of bird flu, or anything like that. So thats pretty good, I suppose.
I should really write something about my trip, but I can't be bothered just yet.
I'll post some photos and write about some of the cool stuff that happened, and the awesome people I met later.
Most importantly at the moment, however, is my little encounter with a intoxicating beast, fondly known as ROCK AND ROLL.
A buttload of us went to the Scorcha festival (if you can even call it a festival) in Joonds today. It was lame and emo-ish to start with, but progressively improved.
It took a bit of a downward spiral when I got some of Jimmy's blood on my shirt, and we ended up at the first aid trailor for a while. Then we got held up by three loonies who wanted to chat.
After the shit emo bands, a band called The Silents played. They were actually pretty cool. The drummer was very attractive. Kinda reminded me of The Panda Band.
But anyway, after that, END OF FASHION WERE UP! Yes, I love those guys. Badly.
From my relatively shitty viewing spot, I caught glimpses of Justin Burford, the hottest guy on the planet, doin his thang.
All of a sudden, I felt a strong grip on my shoulders. I assumed it was Jimmy. I glanced over and saw him with some emo chicks.
'Who the hell has got me in their clutches?' I wondered.
It was Jay!
Very forcefully, he manuvered me through the mosh pit, so he could get a better spot. I apologised to the sea of angry faces as I crashed my way through the crowd.
Later, he explained that he had to use me, because people move out of the way of girls, and thats why I was used to better his viewing position. Makes enough sense, I suppose.
It wasn't just Jay I'd helped though. It was also his Peter Moyes mate Butters. Nice guy. He offered me a leg up so I could crowd surf, which I gracefully refused. He also protected me somewhat from the people jumping in front of us. Yeah, nice guy.
Butters and Jay are forming a band, modelled on End of Fashion. Butters is the guitarist, I think, Jay's on base, Gouch is the drummer. I forget whether theres any more members. I was offered a place as the drummer, or as the groupie. I chose groupie.
"Were semi-serious" Butters told me, "I hope you're semi-serious about being our groupie"
End of Fashion played a good set, complete with a mass singalong to O Yeah and Rough Diamonds. I was disappointed, however, not to hear The Game, coz I like that song.
It was a good day. A little bit of Transperth and a little bit of rock and roll.
All in all, it was a pretty good way to waste a Friday afternoon. November 23 Farewell, my PreciousI might as well say goodbye to my fellow lovers and whores, as Tim has already predicted my early death. Well, my disappearance at least...
If you know me, or if you;ve had contact with me in the last month or so, then you'll know that tomorrow I'm leaving my "little slack-jawed town" for bigger, brighter and definatly more Asian things, for two weeks.
Thats right, Folks. I'm swimming against the hormone raging tide of schoolies goin to Dunsborough, and jumping a plane to Penang. For 13 glorious Malaysian nights, I shall be kickin back in Batu Ferringhi, quite possibly sipping Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain.
Anyway, the point of this is to, like I said, say goodbye to my comrades, considering the likeliness of me not returning.
Alana Louise Part - Enjoy your journey of self discovery. Be sure to send me a postcard. Umm, have fun while I'm away and stay away from my various husbands, especially Mr Burford. If I do die, I leave to you my Ben Lee poster, and my ipod.
Tim Sherry - Be good and stay outta trouble. Oh, wait. That's kinda impossible for you. Stay outta trouble you can't talk your way out of. That's better... It's been nice knowing you, and all that jazz. If I die, I'll leave you my John Birmingham and Nick Earls books...read them and appreciate them, please.
Anika Fitch - Ani-Fani. Well, even though youre short, you are mighty loveable. Feel free to rummage through my clothes and jewellery after I've passed on.
Amy Anderson - Hey Lucky-Buddy! Remember that? How embarrassing... You're awesome and I hope you have the best time in Rotto. It's a shame that I wont be alive when we coulda gone to the beach together and made lots of hot guy "friends". I'm not really sure what I have that you might like...so I'll let you take your pick. Anything, baby, and its yours!
Jacob Marai - I still think you're strange, and a bit of a geek. But hey, not everyone's perfect. Please pass on my unidentified stolen gift to someone who will appreciate it, and leave a note in my coffin of what it was. Or better yet, put the gift in the coffin with me.
Natalie Apelgren - Nat, Nat, Nat. You are the coolest black person I know. Apart from maybe the chubby Sudanese guy, whom I met for the first time yesterday at Clarko station. I would leave you something, but everyone knows that black people will sell it for drugs, so I wont. Please stay away from my various lovers, but feel free to share some love with Alana.
Eaden Zeitlan - To the coolest dude in the world. Send love to ur mummy, and Jo from me. Sorry I wont be around to help you with any more of your media things. It'll be a real pity as well, coz you know how much I love dressing up in those random costumes for you... Haha. Nah, its cool. To you, my vain little puppy, I leave my mirror and hair products. You can also have my make up for you shoots.
Gillian Lees - I love you buttloads and buttloads! You were a real asset to the force, back when MSCPD was still in existance. We kept the mean streets of MSC clean from Columbian drug lords, and we should have been respected more. Anyway, umm, you can have all of my shoes, if you want them, and any random things you find in my room. (Lucky you!)
Jimmy Miloseski - The crazy emo-wog. A beautiful merging of cultures... You're cool when you aren't sleazy. I'll leave you my emo jeans, so you can emo up random chicks you'd like, if they were emo. Get what I mean? I hope so.
Josh Young - A fellow Kmart whore. Stay in Sarah's good books, if thats possible. I would leave you something, but Sarah is about to kill you soon anyway, so it'd be kinda pointless.
To anyone else I've forgotten - I'm sure that I do like you, but I've just temporarily forgotten about it. Either that or I don't in fact like you in the slightest. To those who I like, but have forgotten, you can fight over whatever is left around the place. Some old text books, nail polish remover and the like.
Fingers crossed that I make it back alive, but if not, I'm glad thats all sorted out.
Wish me luck, my beautiful lovers and whores.
If I die, as predicted, have a good time at my funeral dudes. That is, if you all make it back alive from Leavers...
November 21 FreeeeeedomExams are over.
I'm as free as Michelle Lesley, and I didn't even have to temporarly convert to Islam.
I am awesome. November 18 Sha sha...sha doWell, Good News Folks,
As of about a minute ago, Michelle Lesley was given a three month sentence, with the time shes already spent taken off.
Well, I think thats what has happened. The translater was a bit slow, and the judge banged on for ages. It was like he didnt want to end the sentence, he kept talking and talking, adn adding bits onto the end of his sentences.
Even better news, her black and grey Gucci handbag is going to be returned to her.
Work last night was good. Sarah is a nazi, and Josh turned into Sarah for a while.
Shaunalee and I are black sisters.
Rikki-Leah and Brian are still going out.
I served my neighbour, who I thought was dead. Apparantly, she isnt, so I spose thats good.
Some random funny quotes from last night:
"I think I might get back with him. I mean, I dont usually feel bad afterwards and I kinda do" - An un-named person who broke up with their significant other.
"I'm not into the whole 'going out' thing, I just like having fun with them sometimes. Oh, that sounds so bad!" - The same un-named person, a few minutes later.
"I kinda fell up the stairs a little bit" Poor Ashlee.
"Oh no you didn't" (in a black chicks accent) - Shaunalee fighting my battles for me.
After Libby and I found out Sarah was working last night:
"We will survive!"
"We will be strong!" (in full thick American southern accents)
"Hey, can I get an APN for a microwave"
"Yeah...oh shit!"
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah. Whats it look like?"
"White box, silver microwave.."
"1000 watt?"
"no"
"Oh fuck. 1200 watt?"
"no"
"Fuck"
"800 watt"
"Fuck....fuck fuck fuck...umm, oh, here it is"
- Some genius who had control of the 636 phone.
In retrospect, none of those seem as funny as what they were last night. Maybe you had to be there.
I've got buttloads of study to do, and no motivation to do it.
This time next week I'll be catching Bird Flu and hanging out with some cool Malaysians.
Insanely jealous?
Thats right, you should be.
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